First up was Sorority Row. Yes, that dumb movie about a Sorority house getting stalked by a deranged killer with a hint of I Know What You Did Last Summer thrown in for good measure. My main reason for watching this was mainly just in order to see hot girls die in entertaining ways. I'm a horror movie fan so it seems like it should be at least fun in that regard. Boy was I wrong. The kills weren't good, the story was dumber than most and I couldn't believe how bad the acting was at times. It's always a bad sign when a bunch of girls try to fake a death for a "prank."
The girls were hot (could have used some more Audrina Partridge though) but the kills were so dumb I just couldn't get into it. They also made one huge mistake by making the least likable girl the heroine. Hell, even "the Bitch" of the Sorority was more likable than her. I just hoped she would die the entire time. But alas, that did not happen. Also, this film has to have the most random "Twist Ending" I've ever seen. Comes completely out of left field and makes very little sense. It seems like most of the screenplay was written and they went "Okay it can't be her, or her or him. So let's make it this guy that's been in two pages." Just plain lazy writing. Thankfully this film didn't do good in theaters so there's shouldn't be any sequels.
Next up was one godawful film. Just plain terrible. I don't think I can warn you enough as to how terrible this film is. And when you look at it you think "Oh this should be fun. It looks to be a fun party movie." That could not be further from the truth. This is truly a shit fest. And this abomination goes by the name of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.
Funny title eh? Yeah you're right, it's not. But the complete douchebag who wrote it thought it was so it's no surprise he's just as idiotic as his title. Let me say this, if you ever have a chance to meet Tucker Max (the film's writer and main character of the story) then please punch him in the face. He deserves it. Never has there been such an asshole to grace this planet. By the end of the film, I just wanted to go beat the shit out of this idiot. Move aside dumbass from Narnia, this is now the most hated movie character I know.
Now there aren't many movies I would say this about but if you like this film you are an idiot. It's plain and simple. There's no way to get around it. You have a terrible sense of humor and need to take a hammer to the head. If this film is "relatable" to you then there's no hope for you. You're about as lost as the lead. How someone can go through all of this and not learn his lesson is beyond me. Stupid film. I hated this piece of garbage and don't feel like writing anymore on it.
Fuck Tucker Max.
No comments:
Post a Comment